Primeiro de Abril, antes fosse uma piada … Stefaninho, nunca vou te esquecer!

Primeiro de Abril, um dos dias mais tristes de minha vida. Há 13 anos, neste mesmo dia, às 10:05 da manhã, Stefaninho nos deixava. Internado na Intensivstation de uma clínica em Günzburg, eu não pude estar presente no momento de sua partida. Mas em coração eu estava, sempre estive e sempre estarei. No dia anterior, quando o vizinho e amigo Helmut (falecido anos depois, aos 51 anos de idade) me levou para visitar meu Stefan, eu cantei a música „O sole mio“ inteira com minha voz soprano e fui ouvida presumivelmente por todos os pacientes da clínica. Era minha despedida, sem que eu mesmo pudesse prevê-lo.

Eu havia perdido toda a razão para existir, exceto pelo fato de que eu precisava cuidar de nossos filhos felinos, dos quais Stefan sempre se lembrava e pedia para que eu cuidasse bem deles – enquanto tinha voz para se expressar. Eu precisava continuar pois Pimbol e Mimile precisavam de mim. E aqui estou, sobrevivi até hoje.

Misticamente há um ano atrás, neste mesmo dia, Primeiro de Abril, eu escrevia um mail a um abrigo de Gatos em Donauwoerth „Samtpfoten-Ries e.V.“ perguntando sobre dois Gatinhos que havia visto para adoção conjunta. A resposta foi que eu não poderia adotar aqueles dois que havia visto no website (que precisavam ter acesso livre), mas que eles teriam disponíveis dois outros para adoção, vindos de um lar cujo tutor faleceu, deixando cerca de 50 Gatos. Estava então traçado o destino de meus outros filhotes felinos, Pimboli e Charlie, que hoje convivem em harmonia com Mimile.

Enfim … preciso seguir em frente (se o destino o permitir) pela Mimile, que está para completar 16 anos e pelos seus companheirinhos Pimboli e Charlie.

PS: Na foto, um dos momentos descontraídos com Stefan e Dacio num restaurante fast food numa outra cidade não distante de Donauwörth. O mano bateu a foto em sua viagem à Alemanha em 2003.

Um dos E-Mails mais importantes que já recebi de Stefan Rath

Na realidade já havia publicado este e-mail dele anteriormente, mas como publiquei no facebook, reproduzo aqui, com as fotos que utilizei para homenageá-lo pelo seu aniversário em 14 de março de 2018.


Como homenagem a meu Stefan no dia de seu aniversário, posto o e-mail que ele me enviou me convidando para nos casarmos (Data: 11 de março de 2001)

Absender: (Rath,Stefan)
Datum: 11. Mar 2001 07:17
Betreff: LIEBE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Liebe lovely Verinha!!!!!!

Now I write the answer!

I readed your long letter very concentrated…. it needs time!!!

You didn’t read my letter? ?Oh, I’m sad…

I sent you these photos that you can imagine, where I live. In winter it is often very trist (sad), the weather! And you get without an important reason depressive …. but only because of the weather!

Fortsetzung des Postings: About my pupils: I think we have a Missverständnis! – I never am anxious because of my pupils, only, sometimes they are angry!!! I’m so selbstbewußt ? self-confident, that I have no fear!, you know. ? But sometimes it costs much Anstrengung (effort)! ? But no fear! ?Sometimes I’m Ärgerlich, angry!!!
If they don’t bring the things, they should, if they don’t „shut up“, if they have no homework…all the daily small difficulties…but its nerving!!!
And there are also very good moments, …you know me yet so much, I tell you: Often the pupils want to talk with me about the problems they have, with her homeworks, but very often about other teachers, they have problems with them! I’m hearing what they talk to me, we talk about the problems, and I always try to give them good advices! ? They talk so offen (German word!), sincere about their problems (I know they talk these things to only few teachers!). You know, you know ME, that I always want to understand the others, and try to find a solution! ? But I never want that the pupils talk BAD about a Kollege!!!
We only want to get a solution of problems!

Now …. back to your letter. At first, you really love me, if you write so long
letters to me!!!!! I’m very emotioned! I think, we have found one another in
such a great love, which is really very rare(?), selten! around the world!!!!
And I repeat: Come to me!, I’m sure you come to me for a long visit …. but….
think about THE POSSIBILITY! I know how difficult it is to leave all, what one
has in his life, but……there are possibilities, to transport these things at
a ship to another country, not by air! Much more cheap!…… But I understand
you completely: You would leave your surrounding, your mother, your aunt, your friends in Brasil, Idalina. ? But if you really want to come forever to Germany…… holidays in Brasil? During my 6 weeks holidays in the summer? Why not? I think, everything would be possible!!!!!!

I repeat: I have much space in my rooms, I have another house, where’s living my mother (it’s our own), my mother lives there alone (a house with two floors – but it is 200 kilometers far from here. ? But:

It’s all not so important, only an information for you.

Come…..look…..and decide!!!!!


I only want to tell you, how I live here in Germany, in Bavaria! You must get
an image where you go to, for three months……..or…perhaps forever! I want to
tell you this image! ? That, if you come, you don’t feel so strange (fremd)!
So I sent you the photos ? you are shocked? About the sad time in the winter in Germany, all is looking so grey (grau, trist)! But then, the spring comes,
….. it is the time here for the Verliebte! SMILE!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes we must tell about the reality, the sachliche Dinge (The things of the daily life!)

But! It’s also a great reality, that we are loving us so, so much!!!
I tell you this all only, that you have more and more information about my life here! ? And, if someone has many informations, the picture of the point, who he will go to, becomes more and more real in his mind, in his head.

I want that you can imagine more and more, where you travel in June!

Just you know me! I want always explain everything!!!! …. smile!!!!!

Oh, I looked at your letter: You descend of Portuguese? ? You never told me! Only that you don’t be a mestize! And you are „blau?blütig“! … smile!!

The Klima ? weather is very different to Brasil! Winter is VERY cold, spring and autumn are very lovely, sometimes bad, sometimes very nice! Could you feel it, if I tell you: I’m lying at my balcony in march, the air only has a temperature of about 15 degrees, ? but the sun is shining to my’s very nice, the Bronchitis got less, and I’m feeling, very happy! Then there is no big air moister, or air humidity ( looked into the lexikon! in German: Luftfeuchtigkeit!) I told you at telephone: Not so wet!!!!


About the CANARIO: My father loved him, really LOVED! Like you TICO! And I also love him, ..if he is singing, it’s very nice!!! I said to you: I Like cats, and Canario! But most no dogs …. fletching her teeth!!! OH, NO!

OHHHHHHHHHH! You didn’t understand what I wanted to say about Einstein at phone! Now::: I was born at 14. March in 1955, you know! Albert Einstein also was born at an 14. March, the year, I don’t know! ? And he died in the year 1955 (NOT the day I was born, but the year!) And………..reincarnation?…… smile!!!!

Now the lovely telephone?call to you, mein Liebling!!!!!!!!!
It was so important for me, and I think also for you..?
Ah, my telephone always shows the time of calling: We talked 1 hour and 54 minutes!!! ? But. It was good. Because we love us so much! ? if the „Tarif“ (that what I must pay) is all right, then I must pay for this calling 43 DMarks! ? It would be not much for such a long calling to you! ? I hope, the „Tarif“ is alright, ..but my friend said, it’s always alright..we will see!!!

About the money: I don’t remember the right word at telephone: I could very good economize my financial businesses! ? I learned it of my mother. She always was the „financial director“ of our family! ? My father got her his money, and she directed all the financial things!
And the call this night: Should I tell you, how I’m thinking? … If I go into a restaurant, two times, not so comfortable lunch, I also must pay this! ? So, I prefered to talk to you at phone!!!! ? Very much better!!!!! ? So! ? Da niente!
(Oh, I like Italian so much, it sounds much better than don’t matter!)
And Portuguese is not far away!…… Should I tell you my new idea??????
If I go to the center of the town, I want to buy two things: A dictionary (Portuguese/German) and a Reiseführer (a book to travel to Brasil, about all the people, the country and so on) about Brasil!…… smile!!!!
You can understand my feeling??????

Ich freue mich sehr, wenn du kommst!!!!!!!

Ah, the climate ? Klima ? is very other than in Brasil (I know it of my
school?time, also from internet, and also, because I traveled very much and I
always did take informations before!). And so, I know perfectly, which weather
and temperature you have, it’s very wet in Sao Paulo! ? A very, very great
difference to Germany!
You know, I traveled to many countries in Europe, and also to Turkey! ? Oh, I
want to shock you!: In Spain, a friend and I did drive around the villages some
summer, and this was the hottest day in this summer in Spain, 52 degrees!!!
f ArchitekturI repeat: fifty-two degrees!!!! ? But for us no problem!!!
I think, you can’t imagine this! But really no problem!!
Ah, you must know: I don’t have an air conditioned in my car! ? Open the windows … and then everything is OK!

I really live in the wrong country – and I think, you also!

Oh, one Intimität: I’ve a very rare Blood?art, or blood?group? ? I can’t it find in the dictionary! ? I have, like my father had, AB rhesus negativ!!! Terrible by an accident! In Germany only 0,9 % of the people have this! But in Africa: 30%! During his illness, my father got often blood, always from Africa!
This Blood?Group (I hope you understand) is very liable to illness like Infections like Bronchitis, influenza and so on, but very resistant to „Malaria“!
In Europe it doesn’t exist! … smile! ? I tell you this, that you know I’m a person who likes the south, warm weather! I hate the winters in our country, I HATE! ? And so you vielleicht/perhaps can understand my Spanish, or Greece way of living!, Working during (Oh, you didn’t understand this word at telephone; it means „Während“ (in German)) the night, eat at 10 o’clock in the evening, get up at 9 or 10 o’clock in the morning! (In holidays and weekends!, you know!…smile!) ……….But I’m a teacher, I’m living here in Germany, and I MUST OFTEN GET UP AT 7 O’CLOCK!!!! TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!

You wrote me soooooooo much!!!! I don’t can answer to all, but, I really readed all very intensive!!!!!!! I was very pleased about you so long letter!!!!!! And I loved it so!!!! OK? I all understood, what you wanted to say to me!!!

Oh! If you are here, and I must go to school, you all time can use my computer!! Nulla problema!!!! ? No problem!!!! ? E possibile tutto il giorno!
And a nice idea, I have (just an inspiration at this moment now!): You could go with me to the Italian?Course! Wäre das nicht was? Wouldn’t it be a good idea?

Oh…..I write so much, you will read my message after you were sleeping!.. But
very good, if you could sleep, well and a long time!!!!!!

But don’t be worried about the sleep! It’s a normal way, if you reduce the sedatives, your sleeping would get at first very bad! ? But it’s no problem, because you mustn’t go to work!!!!!! And so, you can sleep every time, when you want! ? Believe me: The body ? your body (very nice body) takes it, what he needs!!!! ? And if you can’t sleep two or three days!! It’s not dangerous!!
Then your body takes this, what he needs!!!!!!!!!!
I know it, because of the night before my terrible Wednesdays!!!!!! Confidence!! Vertrauen!!!!!!!

Oh, I want to tell you so much!!! ? I wait for the next telefone?account!!! Then we see ……………

Hm. The „Tarif“, the conditions to internet (always surfing) ending at April,
because many of the people who have this conditions are staying always online,
and they block(?) blockieren the telephone?lines! So there come new conditions:
20 hours per month, and 50 hours per moth, and every minute more you must pay
extra! But, no problem for me. You know, I’m in internet since one month (We
did meet us…!!!!, very smile!!!), and so I know, that I don’t need always
the net, because in only 5 seconds I’m in the net. I didn’t know it!!!
I was very „unerfahren“ with the Internet!! … Like a teenager in other things! … smile!!!

Now, I’m convinced, you went to bed, I and you are sleeping!!

I read your last e?mail once more!! ? And then, I end this!

About you said, you are like a mother to me, and I also like a father: i
understood very well! . .. But, if to persons really love one another, it must be so!!! One to another: LOVE; not only sexuality, But also!! , But also Solidarität!!! Help one to another!! Very important!!!! (I remember my mother and my father!), they had also very bad times! Very bad times! ? Perhaps I tell you if you are here by me! It’s too a long story to write it!


And if at this time somebody had told me: Ah, you get a teacher, 32 pupils in front of you!, I had said: Oh no!!!! I’ve not the personality for this job …. but now, like Bob Dylan: The times they are achainging!! Since the time, I’m a teacher, I have so much Selbstvertrauen!!! The pupils respect me, also, I told you above, they have confidence to me!! ? My sensitivity!!!
I told you so much intimacies, but it must be, because we are so verliebt, you must know more and more about me, and I must know more and more about you, our whole life!

But now: I think you will find a solution about the problem with Tico!
Should I say the truth??? Really??? I have the feeling just that Tico is also
my cat, you told me so much!!!! ? But I think, there were many problems, to take
him with you! …. You know, I like cats so much!!!!!! ..BUT NOT THE MOST DOGS!!
I only don’t have a cat, because I’m not always at home, and so …. it’s a great problem! ..Like yours at this moment, if you go to me! …. But..You didn#t know it till one month ago!!!!
Oh, one month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m thinking back………. the first emails……..and we got more near and
more near……. and at one day it happend: Verliebt!!!
I can’t remember, when, but it happened!!!!
We talked about many problems, very good!! ? And we could help one another!!!
The last years I only lived for my job!!, and sometimes Urlaub, holidays, in Greece! … But, nothing more!! ? I need you, I need a woman, who can understand me! A woman, I can love, and she loves me!!!!!! Oh, it’s so very important in my life!! ? And I thought: Stefan, it’s over, you are 45 years old, in this age, verlieben like a teenager!, it’s over! … AND THEN I met you!!!! Incredibile!!
….. Am I dreaming???????????????????
Is it really possible???????

If you are here, you can me teach in the computer?programs, I don’t know! OK?
And I teach you in German language! …. I didn’t tell you more about German at
the emails, because I know, that you come to me! It’s much more easier, to do
this here in Germany!

O! Come to me in your body? clothes, the old jeans, the old tennis?shoes!!!
I would like it if you arrive so as you are at the photos, you sent me! Really!!
But then, we go shopping, and, you know I like go shopping!, we buy new jeans and others. BUT: I WANT TO LOOK AT YOU IF YOU BUY YOUR NEW CLOTHES!!!
Your new clothes must be pretty!!? No anxiety! No smoking!!… smile!!, only jeans and so on!!!!! ? Really, we going shopping insieme! together!
Smile!!!……And then I can say, are you pretty in your new clothes or not!!!!

Oh, I know, I’m so late with my answer,…. but no chance! I want to tell you so much!!

I readed your last long letter, once more and once more!

About my holidays at my mother: We can/ must telephone because not an Internet?connection!! ? At any rate I take my Handy with me!!! ?

And also: If I go to South?France (DO you hear the names of the towns: NIZZA, Nice in France, and Cannes?.there we are one week, 20. to 27. May!), I also take my Handy with me, to call you!!!!
Because I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!

We MUST come together! I think, we need one another!!, But much more: We love one another so much!!!!!!
Oh!……..Should I tell the rest????? or should I not??? I think…………


I’m very emotioned after our last telefone?call!!!!!!! ? And so, I want to tell you, in spite if it is a possibility, but I believe, a great possibility:


It’s Sunday now, 8 o’clock. Now my fingers are tremulous, about what I want to say to you …. but I decided to do it::::

The possibility! If you would go forever to me …. and I hope it so much!!!!!

First: You only can stay in Germany, if we get married! Uffffffffff.
Second: I’m a teacher in a Christian school, we had to marry in a catholic

Now, it is said. …. Deep breathing!!!! Very tremulous, my hands. But it’s
said…….Now….it can happen: You say: No. Also it can happen: Oh no!!! You
strangle me!… Uffff. It can happen, you say, wait, for a time, if we see us! _
OK! I’m happy!…… or….the wonder, the miracle, you say now: Yes!
Oh, I’m so tremulous!…..But, now it’s written, and I don’t delete it!!!!!
„Self?confidence“, but ……. there it is another theme, because it’s so
It is said. And I wanted to say it, and I said it!!!
In spite of the fear, what you would answer!

Because: I love you so much!!!! We don’t know us face to face, but, as you also say, we are two persons in one! We understand us perfectly! Our feeling!!
Come to me!! I don’t strangle you, you know it! … But we love us so much … why we shouldn’t spend the rest of our life together … why not??????

I want!!! I want to marry you, and you stay here for the rest of our lives!!!!
Uffffff. It is said.

Now: one possibility: You are shocked! or…….I hope…..With much
Sehnsucht …. and I believe so: You answer me!!!

No I’M anxious about your answer!!!!

I love you so! Could you imagine!!!!

This is the reason, I needed so much time to write this letter to you!!!
I thought about, to say it at the telephone, but…….. MUT…Courage….left
Now. It’s done. It’s said. Think about!!!!!!
I wait……. your answer…..I’m very nervous…………

But, I wanted to say this to you, NOW!

It’s a half past eight in the morning, I’m going to bed … sleeping (I hope so)
BUT I’m so emotioned!!! You understand!
And if I cannot sleep, every hour I look into my computer to your answer!
OHHHHHHHHHHHHh, meine liebe Verinha!, What would you say???????
My hands still always are tremulous!!!!

With a long, intensive kiss in your mouth, a very strong embracement ? I feel you are here, I feel, (Vorahnung) YOU CAN IMAGINE MY Gedanken, my thinking!!!!!

If I now go to bed, I wished so much, you are here and can go with me!!!!!
OK. Now it’s SAID; WHAT I wanted to say to you since the last few days.

I’m very emotioned because of your answer!!!!
What will you tell me?? ? Oh ……………………………



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„I’m afraid of airplanes because I know, from the point of view of physics, how they work.“

„Tenho medo de aviões porque eu sei, do ponto de vista da física, como eles funcionam.“

„Ich habe Angst vor Flugzeugen, weil ich aus physikalischer Sicht weiß, wie sie funktionieren.“

Stefan Rath, teacher of Physics, Mathematics
and Cad in High School Heilig Kreuz, Donauwörth

Acrescentar ao invés de subtrair

Insight … „acrescentar ao invés de subtrair“. Ao invés em pensar em eliminar de minha vida as coisas ruins, talvez fosse melhor acrescentar coisas boas. Entendendo-se aí por „bom“ o que me faz sentir bem e por „ruim“ aquilo que me faz sentir mal. Tudo muito subjetivo, enfim. Mas acrescentando coisas que eu curto no meu dia a dia, talvez surja uma luz no fim do túnel. Fazer as coisas que eu amo, que me dão prazer e não apenas aquelas que me estressam e acabam com minha saúde física e psíquica. Desligar um pouco minha preocupação constante com tudo e talvez acionar o mágico botão do FODA-SE. Boa tarde!


Num certo dia me lembro de ter perdido minha paz de espírito


Eu na realidade não me lembro quando isto aconteceu. Talvez por ocasião da morte de papai? Não sei dizer ao certo. Mas eu tenho assim um feeling de que numa certa ocasião ocorreu um rompimento com aquilo que eu sentia como uma sensação de estar protegido, de estar seguro.

Ensaios, dados sobre a infernal burocracia no Brasil …

Aqui um link interessante do Consulado Brasileiro em Frankfurt …

Lá é possível encontrar alguns modelos de procurações diversas.  Exatamente aqui:


Sobre apostilamentos, legalizações … fica uma pergunta … um documento anteriormente legalizado pode ser apostilado? Ou seja, um documento legalizado no Consulado de Munique pode ser ainda apostilado num Behörde da Alemanha?


Naja, estou escrevendo tudo isto para mim mesmo. É possível que vá ao Brasil este ano, mas não quero ficar o tempo todo lá perdido, desesperado, triste, não me achando. Não sei se publico isto como particular ou público … talvez particular?